Sex toys are the ultimate pleasure tools that can help us explore our bodies and get to know ourselves better, whether it’s during masturbation or with a partner, taking sensations to the next level.
That said, everyone’s experience of their body differs greatly from person to person, whether they’re cis or trans. But for trans and non-binary people, pleasure can sometimes be a dysphoric experience. Gender dysphoria in adults and young people describes an a person may experience when their gender identity doesn’t fit society’s expectations of their assigned sex.
Fortunately, sex toys can help turn that negative experience into a more affirming one and even help people achieve gender euphoria. Using toys during a solo sesh can alleviate pressure and provide a new route to orgasm, but finding the right kind of toy is key.
Today, we’re experiencing a rise in gender neutral sex toys. After all, not everyone with a vagina is a woman, and not everyone with a penis is a man.
While the sexual wellness industry is beginning to climb over the many hurdles and taboos that it’s faced in the past with a more mainstream perception, pleasure products haven’t always been inclusive of the people they’re supposed to serve. Many categories are divided into “male” and “female,” leaving those who identify as neither, both, or trans out of the conversation, especially when they need a wider range of accessories for a better sexual (and day-to-day) experience.
Which brands are setting a positive example?
In terms of gender neutral sex toys, brands like Cute Little F*ckers and Wildflower are offering products for all kinds of bodies across the entire gender and sexuality spectrum. The toys might not look like the modern art objects that many brands aim for. Still, they inject some beginner-friendly playfulness into their toys, making them more approachable for a range of people across the spectrum. Cute Little F*ckers was founded by the gender-fluid Step Tranovich, who would often discuss the lack of gender inclusivity in the sex toy space, which they found was lacking a sense of joyfulness and expression. Each of the toys is shaped like an adorable monster which has its own story, pronoun, and name.
In terms of more mainstream choices, wands, cock rings, and anal plugs in non-gendered colors from stores like Kinkly are often a reliable choice as they can be used on a range of erogenous zones, but some brands are taking things a step further. German-engineered Fun Factory has toys that are cute, stylish, and not anatomical. They don’t take themselves too seriously and are often available in bright colors and creative shapes, deviating from the phallic norm.
Erotic boutiques like The Tool Shed and New York Toy Collective go a step beyond gender neutral sex toys with sections on their site dedicated to Gender Expression, which Wildflower also has. This category houses products like trans-masc strokers, underwear harnesses, binders, packers, stand-to-pee products, and more. For people who are commonly triggered by your standard dildo or vibrator, brands like these make the sex toy shopping experience a lot more inclusive, giving individuals a range of options to experiment with based on preferences.
The right strap-on can be an affirming experience for a transmasculine person who hasn’t had bottom surgery, providing a means to penetrate a partner. For trans people who have had bottom surgery, a penis pump can help enhance sensation. Furthermore, companies like New York Toy Collective and The Tool Shed sell both binders and self-adhering breast forms for those who haven’t had top surgery. NYTC sells realistic strap-ons that can be matched to skin tone to make the strap-on help those coping with gender dysphoria and make for a more natural extension of the body.
The future is gender inclusive
Although there are still plenty of cis people out there who want a more classically gendered design or direct body description in their purchase options, for gender non-conforming or trans people, bringing more assumption-free options to the market is critical.
Still, there’s a long way that the sexual wellness industry can go in making gender neutral sex toys more accessible, including changes to designs, packaging, and marketing, especially seeing as the above brands were designed by the queer community as they saw a gap in the sexual wellness market. It’s essential brands start including the queer community in discussions when developing these toys.
Using non-gendered sex toys can help someone better communicate with their partners about what does and doesn’t sexually affirm them. It can boost confidence and make an otherwise triggering experience a pleasurable one. It’s our responsibility as an industry to make all of these groups feel comfortable and empowered when it comes to sex and start prioritizing the desire and pleasure of different people over outdated marketing.
